How dare you love me

My school and my teacher,

You should have thought me while I was young.
What a waste of time !
How dare you look so fine and expect me to hate you ?
How dare you smell so good and expect me to forget you ?
How dare you kiss with your heart and expect me not to love you back ?
How dare you love me !
How dare you !
How dare you love me and then 'unlove' me !
How dare you say you do and proof you don't !
How dare you !
How dare you !

Most of my mistakes  you treasure were  un-intentional .
Most of the lies they sell to you are half-truths.
Most of what I do wrong is right because they are for you .

Is it in love or with regret that you do this ?
 Tell me . Teach me how to 'unlove' .
For I'm stuck in love where you are not .
Show me  the way out because I'm lost.

How dare you love me ; just walk out !
How dare you love me and call it something else !
How dare you love me and expect us to be friends ?
How dare you !
You are the enemy I love
And I'm the enemy you must love.
"Love , how are you doing ?
I'm just calling to check up on you, baby" .
 Really ? Revenge is not fire quenched with water .
You opened a door that was always locked .
 You can't just  tell me you are marrying someone else .
 Who would understand?
Who could understand?
How dare you !
How dare you !
I must have been naive.
I must have been lost in your arms;
But remember this
Not every broken glass can be fixed
And not every mistake can be reversed.
Think of love before you pass
Love was once what you had.

A man without a god

In a morning out of mercy ,

He is awoken  from protection of his own.
He forgets his master
When men also reward his labour .
He makes laws against nature
To entertain his soul
 and to mock the brilliance of nature's rules .
There is no thirst of his
 that he has no power to quench.
There is no hunger of his that he cannot satisfy .

He is a man
Yet he was never made .
He is a man
Yet he is perfect in deeds .
He is a man
Yet he has no god.

But an orphan who has no father

 will soon discover his real father .
A man who knows no master
will find his superior .
A man who mocks nature will also be mocked.
How is a man a man if he has no god?

A question of existence

In the end, only one can know this.
How can I be this one when you were there before me ?
Enough with the mathematics,
Calculating numbers and their properties,
Imitating nature to dispute your power.
Only you can know this answer
And this will do for me.

Enough travelling to the east, west , South ,
Guarding my ambition with tyranny,
Reading historical records that make sense,
So I can understand how I have breath.
Only you can know the answer to this
And this will do for me

"Where was I when you formed this world?" You ask.
Oh judges of judges, permit me to answer you now with good reasons .
Can a man know the dimensions inside his body when his eyes are outside it?
Can a child truly know where he came from without the knowledge from his family?
Should I take my life that I may know how I became alive?
Your answer explains my ignorance as a philosopher.
I am because you are.
That is why I call you the "I am, that I am."
Your existence precedes anything I am or could be.

If I'm ever asked the creator of me,
I believe my senses could testify,
Isn't that your firmaments above me?
Isn't that your light shining above me?
Isn't that your birds singing praise hymns to you?
I am because you are
You existence precedes me
And this will do for me.

Diamonds in dirt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A glance out the window brings the past back alive again .

It's cold here now without  your hands to warm .
Baby , i'm sorry for not realising what was wrong .
If I could see signs you are diamond in dirt ,
I'll be in any mess till we discover ourselves .
For a diamond in dirt when clean shows its worth.
I could not tell that you are one .

If I could see signs deep down your cries,
I'll treat you special ,
Turn your tears into smiles.
If you just took time if your heart to me say,
" Baby, I'm sorry for all the things I did .  . I'm sorry for the things I did " .

Diamonds in dirt , so hard to find .
Who can know your worth when you hide so deep in the dark?
Can't see ; you are too small .
Can't touch; you are covered in mad .
should have tried ; I'm covered in guilt.
Should have taken time to know you are diamond in dirt .

Love for no reason

It's in the air ;

but don't be scared.
How do you know I love you when there is nothing we've been through ?
I've been by your side since you were twenty five .
Your charm , it's blinds me up like the sun .
You are like fire but  I smell your fragrance while others smell smoke .
You are my ice , you preserve each moment of joy in my life .
You are like earthquake ; you shake the fear from me till I have the courage to believe .
There is no reason to 'unlove '
 because there is no reason to love .
 I'll love you for no reason
I mean I'll  always be in love .
How do you know I don't love you when there is nothing we've been through ?
I love you no reason and that is the only clue .

Make me happy

Make me happy,
I want to be...
I have to be...
I'm going to be...
Everybody thinks I am
Do you want me to win an Oscar for faking this happiness?
Or lose prestige for having a weakness?
You are a man
I was told a man could make me happy
What kind of man are you if you can't make you wife happy?

Make me happy
I want to be, I have to be, I order you to make me
I broke hearts for you, I rejected many just because of you.
I did so much wrong just to be with you.
Haven't I been good to you?
Haven't I been loyal to you?
What else do I have to do to be happily married to you?

Make me happy. I want to be. I have to be. I'm going to be
Why do you want the entire world to know I'm sad
when I've already  told everyone that you are the one.
Don't you know my hair must appear still in crisis?
And my smile must be seamless in every storm?
I eat when I;m full and drink when I'm alone.
look at the size of that belly
it cannot be mine either
You'd better make me happy whether you can or you can't
I'm not going back like a fool.


Make me happy. I want to be. I have to be. I'm going to be
We've been keeping appearance for this long.
why can't you just lie to me so we can keep going on?
I know you don't love me
But I'm doing this for them, not me
why do you think I'm never happy in the end>

Why I married you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Memories . Oh sweet memories .

I dream . I see .  I remember .
Mourning showers, daily I cried.
Cruel loneliness, she rained so cold a hole in my life .
 But why ? What kind of pain was coming back to me that I had inflicted on somebody?
If karma wasn't real , then what was the reason for this ?
My grace must  have been exhausted
Making me a laughing stock before karma's law as punishment.
And karma had no mercy .
Neither did she plan on forgiving her culprits.
She was mean till you were mean
She was mean till you learnt her ways
She was heartless
And so was I when I questioned my life,
" I , why never in time to own such a kind?
 A good man to love me who has no wife."
A walk alone in this world is not a dilemma anyone could treasure
Neither is it pain to secure future pleasure.
My heart was done with being broken
And my mind was done with being optimistic.
Something had to give
And after years it finally did .
Though I looked for misery,  I found you.
Though I expected sudden abandonment , there you still stood.
Indeed I was purely blessed, for truly you did .
You rained great love when you came through the gates of my heart .
Your first touch on my hand
Filled me with cure like being healed from a chronic disease.
I was pleased with bliss and looked ready for a kiss.
Because you freed me from the shackles of  loneliness
And I was alive again to witness God's wonders .
I had never fallen this deep in love before
It was like you sparked joy through every vein with my blood when the beauty in your eyes met with mine .
It was the first time seeing someone who called me everything
And my first time hearing anybody actually say this .
There is a secret about love that only a god would know ; and this only God knew
Only God could be blamed if you had mysteriously  known  how I truly felt when your deep voice sunk those words down the walls of my soul .
When will God ever snitch or tell you my truth ?
…or you just don't pray hard enough to know what I kept from you ?
You replaced my tears with a smile
And you didn't know till now , my love .
Time , they say reveals your nature .
After years , hadn't you realised mine ?
Was it one you admired?
or you were just being nice?
This was when I  knew something had gone right after being with you for days
But i also felt something had gone wrong in an indescribable way.
Because you were good to me even when I was bad to you .
Who wants to be treated bad when they treat you right ?
But I thanked God something had gone wrong to make love finally mine.
For I had known myself to be too wrong to be loved this right.
What do you see in me when I'm by your side  ?
I see a man not from sand but  the skies above when I reminisce sometimes
I'd desperately waited till you finally pop the big question  .
We vowed to stay through thick and thin.
Why didn't you tell me about this ?
Why didn't you tell me you didn't have a penis ?

I'd loved to stay  married
But why did you lie to me?
Why did I marry you ?

Why did I marry you?

I prayed for an angle and this is what I earned.