An ocean of memories

It's the sound of the evening that keeps   you half-asleep

It's the mirror of the younger you to the older you
It's the weather that clothes your past after undressing your  present
It's a facade state of existence that we live in our existence
It's the photos of laughter and the smell of your perfume
It's the numbers on your calendar and  the numbers on your watch
It's the days of the week and the days you keep
It's all I hear when the ocean speaks.
It's all I see by the ocean or beach
When are you coming back again?
Do you know your food is as cold as it last did?
And your memory as fresh as it last did?

Unthinkable

Unthinkable, that is what I call it. It is the first tattoo I had since I came from Mayonnaise. People think of sauce when they hear us say Mayonnaise but any survival of that bloody fight knows it’s nothing more than a horrific war against wolves. Though I hate thinking about my past, because you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you.

Ten years ago, the elected major of Jamestown was found dead in his house with half his head gone and two of his organs also stolen. His wife, a woman dismayed at the incident, informed us immediately she saw his body. Bonded by our duty to protect and serve, we showed up moments after.
“What good is your dick if you’re dead? “Derrick asked as if he didn't know we were studying the body of the mayor.
“…maybe rituals”, I suggested, joining him and the other soldiers in search of evidence our murder might have left behind.

“I don’t think she did it” Derrick insisted when he saw me interrogating the mayor’s wife.
“I know but don’t you…”
“No buts! For Christ sake the woman can’t walk. How is she going to kill?” Derrick argued, making me a laughing stock in the eyes of the others.  “I have a feeling our man is still in the building.” He said. “Let’s make sure he stays in.”
After hours of search, we found nothing. So we moved out where we found what we believed to be footprints from dogs.
“This was definitely a mayhem.” insisted Derrick. “The mayor must have been running from death only to meet it back at home “. How sad! I pitied the dead mayor.
After minutes of walk, guided by those ‘dog prints’ we saw, we finally found ourselves before a tomb. From it came a howl that challenged our bravery.
“No one is going anywhere” Derrick insisted.
Suddenly we saw a pack of wolves dashing from the tomb towards us. We fired as many as we could, but they were too fast, too furious and though we were armed, they outnumbered us. Most of us died in that incident before we even had a plan to retreat.
  Despite our injured legs, we managed to reach the mayor’s house, somewhere we assumed to be safe.
While asleep that night, I heard someone feeding in the kitchen. It was the woman who told us her husband was murdered. She had transformed into a wolf and was feeding on the body of two of our soldiers she had already killed.
“Were-wolf! I screamed, waking up the rest. Though Derrick and four others died trying to kill her, I lived. After four shots from my gun, she was dead.
The lesson that day is to one to be remembered. That is why I keep this on me.  Unthinkable, it’s not just a tattoo, but a story of about me.
 

Time with you

" How do I know you love me when there is nothing we've been through ? "

It's what they said, but don't be scared.

They said i should love you with sense
where my love will be returned. 

They said I should use my head when my heart thinks instead
They said the woman I defend will never do this for me if the tables were turned.

but that's just what they said .
Those are not my words.

Is it fair to love you less now that you are stuck in a wheel chair ?
Is it fair to love you less now because people say you have nothing to offer me ?

Senses, they lie when you question them .
instinct , they push you to make decisions without reasons.

But time with you feels like incarcerated in a beautiful building .

I can't go where I want to
I can't do what I want to do
but deep inside I feel free to be caged .

I mean I will stay with my desire in any fire
And that is not what they say
It's what I say
So what do you say ?

...Time with you is all I ask.

Born standing up

 

I know someone who was right

and in rightness he said this to me
"After the flood will be dry land.
After the rain will be a harvest.
After the training will be success."
Why should I give up when your actions only highlights the importance of mine ?
I was born standing
And i will stand I till I see the sunshine .
see your stories, it's unfortunate they are true .
Your past experiences , they teach a lesson good only to you.
I was born standing
I'm not giving up because of you
those words you say  , they only remind me of your pain
that  energy you disseminate , it only  reminds me of your anger
but I was born standing
words don't break me
negative vibes don't  infect me
I'm more than  a conqueror
 if I lose, it's just a fuel that burns me up to make me  better
and I'm better , not bitter  .
because I was born standing on any barrier .
so don't look for a seat down for me
because there is none with my name
My name is Jay Jay Orleans
and I was born standing

How dare you love me

My school and my teacher,

You should have thought me while I was young.
What a waste of time !
How dare you look so fine and expect me to hate you ?
How dare you smell so good and expect me to forget you ?
How dare you kiss with your heart and expect me not to love you back ?
How dare you love me !
How dare you !
How dare you love me and then 'unlove' me !
How dare you say you do and proof you don't !
How dare you !
How dare you !

Most of my mistakes  you treasure were  un-intentional .
Most of the lies they sell to you are half-truths.
Most of what I do wrong is right because they are for you .

Is it in love or with regret that you do this ?
 Tell me . Teach me how to 'unlove' .
For I'm stuck in love where you are not .
Show me  the way out because I'm lost.

How dare you love me ; just walk out !
How dare you love me and call it something else !
How dare you love me and expect us to be friends ?
How dare you !
You are the enemy I love
And I'm the enemy you must love.
"Love , how are you doing ?
I'm just calling to check up on you, baby" .
 Really ? Revenge is not fire quenched with water .
You opened a door that was always locked .
 You can't just  tell me you are marrying someone else .
 Who would understand?
Who could understand?
How dare you !
How dare you !
I must have been naive.
I must have been lost in your arms;
But remember this
Not every broken glass can be fixed
And not every mistake can be reversed.
Think of love before you pass
Love was once what you had.

A man without a god

In a morning out of mercy ,

He is awoken  from protection of his own.
He forgets his master
When men also reward his labour .
He makes laws against nature
To entertain his soul
 and to mock the brilliance of nature's rules .
There is no thirst of his
 that he has no power to quench.
There is no hunger of his that he cannot satisfy .

He is a man
Yet he was never made .
He is a man
Yet he is perfect in deeds .
He is a man
Yet he has no god.

But an orphan who has no father

 will soon discover his real father .
A man who knows no master
will find his superior .
A man who mocks nature will also be mocked.
How is a man a man if he has no god?

A question of existence

In the end, only one can know this.
How can I be this one when you were there before me ?
Enough with the mathematics,
Calculating numbers and their properties,
Imitating nature to dispute your power.
Only you can know this answer
And this will do for me.

Enough travelling to the east, west , South ,
Guarding my ambition with tyranny,
Reading historical records that make sense,
So I can understand how I have breath.
Only you can know the answer to this
And this will do for me

"Where was I when you formed this world?" You ask.
Oh judges of judges, permit me to answer you now with good reasons .
Can a man know the dimensions inside his body when his eyes are outside it?
Can a child truly know where he came from without the knowledge from his family?
Should I take my life that I may know how I became alive?
Your answer explains my ignorance as a philosopher.
I am because you are.
That is why I call you the "I am, that I am."
Your existence precedes anything I am or could be.

If I'm ever asked the creator of me,
I believe my senses could testify,
Isn't that your firmaments above me?
Isn't that your light shining above me?
Isn't that your birds singing praise hymns to you?
I am because you are
You existence precedes me
And this will do for me.